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"Mum, I can tell you when you will die!"
This was the ecstatic comment coming from my almost 16 year old son's smiling face! I had always thought of him as loving, caring, affectionate, kind hearted...I could go on and on. But I WON'T! My son came into the kitchen last night, whilst I was preparing his school lunch no less, to tell me that he had downloaded a software program that can predict the age of death after the date of birth is inserted.
Now, my logical, scientifically trained mind (ahem, she says superficially examining her chipped fingernails!) wanted to shoo him away and tell him that what the programmers have probaby done was put together some equation, blah, blah, blah and that all in all, it is just a load of male cow manure (you get the drift)!
BUT, the rest of me was intrigued. Maybe the death age that it spits out will indicate that I have six weeks to go and my husband and children will pity me and be really, really nice in that time, and I'll get to go to France as a farewell gift. Or, I may have another 50 years left and I had better be really, really nice to them (especially the kids, you know, thoughts about nursing homes and the like)...especially funny (and of course confirming my logical, scientifically trained mind!) would be if it told us that I would die at the age of 28 (yes, suffice to say I am past that number!).
So after a little deliberation and a quiet moment (very unusual in our household!) I had a death age. Seventy-seven. Seventy-seven. I had exactly 39 years to go. Whilst quietly contemplating who it was I knew that was that age, I suddenly hear a loud guffaw emanate from my beautiful, loving son's mouth, informing me that, in addition to the death age, a countdown clock was displayed on the screen which he could email to me to set as my screen-saver on my laptop (this is where my chest cavity felt like it was imploding!)! And then, just as I am trying to work out what my favourite songs are (to be played at my memorial service), darling Hubby gets in on the act to see if he could better my death age! I didn't know whether to indulge him or to ridicule the program and him, for showing any interest in this silly but destructive software!
Highly amused, (myself bemused!) my quick-fingered son entered his Dad's birthdate and after a second of seriousness on his face, he let out a (concerning on my behalf!) laugh! "Guess what?" he tells his Dad, "You and Mum will both die at the age of 77!". Then, darling Hubby contemplates the maths and realises that, according to this software, he is to go before me..."Stupid program!" he lets out!
I really don't know how to end this post except to say that it has really led me to think about how long I may have to go (I really hadn't given it much thought before now). And, whoever wrote that "stupid program" has a lot to answer for...I forgot about packing the rest of my childrens' lunches, didn't give myself the do-it-yourself yoghurt and cucumber facial I had planned either!. And, I did not get a word of my novel written. I am now considering an autobiography. Thank you son.
I am also left with the questions: Is my beautiful, loving son behaving like any typical teenager with a new gadget, OR, (and this is closer to my heart!) should I disinherit him now?!