Thursday, March 26, 2009

You know you're middleaged when...

I recently had to see a podiatrist for a sharp pain in my heel that has been bothering me for about six months. Within minutes of telling her of my complaint, she opened her mouth and her voice, like a load roar from the heavens, uttered the dreaded words "You Need Orthotics"...

I suddenly felt like I had aged well beyond my years. This was especially hurtful as I am excited about the prospect of getting older, watching my children grow up, achieving their aims in life and my husband and I fulfilling our dream of travelling near and far. But, despite my sentiments about growing older, all I pictured upon hearing the word ORTHOTICS was a walking stick and my croaking voice calling all the young folk, well, young folk and dearies! And, to add insult to injury these shoe inserts would have to be custom made and fitted into 'comfortable' shoes. Immediately my thoughts turned to my shoes and boots most of which are uncomfortable (some as soon as I put them on) but look oh so good. I have even managed to convince myself that the most uncomfortable of shoes will eventually mould to my feet (but usually the reverse happens...ouch!).

Later that day, after a chat about my predicament with friends (younger and older), I was quickly informed that my situation could be a lot worse. Orthotics, at least, cannot be seen and can be made to fit any style of shoe. We then got to laughing about ways we knew that we'd hit middle-age. I'd like to share some of these with you.

1. Listening to the radio station thought to be reserved for "the oldies"!

2. Looking to see if there is anything else to be done whilst bending over to tie up your shoe- might as well make the most of the effort that got you down there!

3. Needing to carry a cardigan with you everywhere you go.

4. Saying things like "in my day"...

5. When you and your teeth don't sleep together anymore.

6. Telling your children how you toilet-trained them when they were only months of age and yet they can't train their kids before the age of three or four!

7. Not being able to tolerate that deafening "doov doov" music in teeny fashion shops.

8. Saying other things like "this should see me out!".

9. When you have to hold a newspaper out at arms length to read it...even with reading glasses!

10. When happy hour is a nap on the couch!

How do you know you've hit middle-age?


lakeviewer said...

This is precious! You're on to something. Now, project even more, to the golden years, and your list will grow and grow...Old.

Look, when you start choosing your outfit to match the comfortable shoes, then, only then, you have reached middle-age.

Natalie said...

Hi Mervat! For me, it is when i say a funny phrase from a show or movie, and the kids have NO IDEA what I am talking about.
Also when I ask them do they have a hanky, cardigan etc :D

Natalie said...

P.s I need orthotics too, and recently had three crowns put in place. AAARGH!

La Belette Rouge said...

Middle-what? Denial, denial, denial.;-) Hey, I got orthotics in my 20's. It doesn't mean you're old. I just means you are athletic. Hey, it is my rationalization and I am sticking to it..

Loida of the 2L3B's said...

Hahahaha... you really made me laugh..

see you there! said...

Ouch! I once had similar pain (in my case plantar fasciitis) but one positive was it was recommended that I Not wear really flat shoes like flip flops and that sort of thing.

As for middle age? Honey, I left that in the dust some time ago and truly life is good from this side of the marker. I try not to say any of those "in my day" things tho.


Mervat said...

Lakeviewer: I have a very close friend (used to be work colleagues) and she turned 64 last year and is The Most Active Woman I know! Now that is one woman to emulate.

Natalie: I know exactly what you mean...for me recently it ws 'welcome back, welcome back, welcome back' from Welcome Back Kotter... Hope the crowns didn't hurt as much as the orthotics!!

La Belette Rouge: I absolutely LOVE your realisation about orthotics and, where did I put those running shoes after I wore them 16 years ago? Truthfully though, I do walk alot and this is what has made the heel pain unbearable enough to warrant me seeking further investigation!

Loida of the 2L3B's: Thanks so much Loida!

Darla: It really is painful and plantar fasciitis is exactly what I have. I too have found I cannot wear flats either. A wedge or kitten heel works best. And, from my end of the marker you make life look fantastic and fulfilled my friend!

Lisa said...

bloody plantar fasciitis is everywhere- everyone seems to ahve it lately !!

how do i know i am middle aged ?

1. the mirror tells me
2. the children tell me
3. husband tells me
4. the dogs want to walk me
5. and ALL my friends are turning 50 !!!!

i also spend more at the chemist than on groceries !

Anonymous said...


Podiatrist Melbourne said...

Thank you for the info. It sounds pretty user friendly. I guess I’ll pick one up for fun. Thank u.


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